blogwaffe

Hello,

Try this revolutionary product, CIALIS Soft Tabs.

Cialis Soft Tabs is the new impotence treatment drug that everyone is talking about. Soft Tabs acts up to 36 hours, compare this to only two or three hours of Viagra action! The active ingredient is Tadalafil, same as in brand Cialis.

Simply dissolve half a pill under your tongue, 10 min before sex, for the best erections you’ve ever had!

Soft Tabs also have less sidebacks (you can drive or mix alcohol drinks with them). No prior prescription needed.

You can get it at: [url removed]

Aside from the grammatical problems, there are a couple things that are just not right about the above spam message I recently received.

The first is that soft tabs seem difficult to cut in half. But supposing you actually manage to cut the things, it must be even harder to save the juicy bits from the second half for use later. Oh spammer, why not just make smaller pills?

The second is a problem of marketing. If someone is interested in obtaining the “best erections [he’s] ever had” lasting “up to 36 hours”, he sure as hell isn’t going to want anything called “Cialis Soft Tabs”. Come on, people. This impotent but yearning hypothetical man, this member of a readily exploitable demographic intent on a cure is going to want “Hard Tabs”. Or “Big Tabs”. Or, if he’s into that whole alliteration thing, “Turgid Tabs”. But “Soft”?

Please.

Maybe I should go into the marketing business peddling snake oil wares promising to reduce erectile dysfunction. Or maybe I should just hit the delete button faster.

A bit silly to keep writing about sandwiches, but I’ve just eaten a most delicious concoction and felt I should share it with the world: An Egg and Herbs on Grilled Cheese Sandwich and Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwich Sandwich.

Parse that!

That’s right: a sandwich of sandwiches.

• Layer 1: Grilled Cheese Sandwich (Bread, Cheese, Bread)
• Layer 2: Eggs (cooked omelette style with mixed Herbs)
• Layer 3: Grilled Ham and Cheese Sandwich (Bread, Cheese, Ham, Bread)

I’ve done this before but put the ham (or bacon) inside the folded in half omelette. That way even the interior layer could (by some) be called a sandwich.

Delicious. I encourage you all to try it and/or to construct other novel sandwiched sandwhiches.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Delicious.

I prefer crunchy peanut butter (without funny, non-peanut oils in it), raspberry jam (jam has seeds in it – as I recall, fruit spreads get called different things in different countries), and either potato bread (any Idaho jokes will be met with a bitch slap) or Mom’s white bread.

I also prefer not to run out of jam while making the damn thing; the peanut butter to jam ratio is key to a good sandwich. Now my mouth is all stuck together.

I mixed things up a bit today and took a shower in Greg’s today. Wow. That is one tricked out shower. I got in, turned on the water and immediately began twiddling the positioning of the two shower heads. That’s right, two. It really makes for a much different showering experience to be sprayed with water from two angles. What those angles should be is left to the showerer; with four articulating joints and three valves, the contraption offers quite the range of possibilities.

Greg’s also got the shower radio thing going, though it’s a little hard to tune. I turned it on, and what else should be playing but Hollaback Girl of blogwaffe infamy.

Got mah grüv on.

I have what is, I believe, an insurmountable problem with barbers/stylists/salonistas/etc.: due to my horrible vision, I can never tell what they’re doing to my head until it’s too late. Not that I know what they should be doing, but it’s still a barrier I face everytime I go get my hair whacked – something I finally got around to doing yesterday.

I’ve been telling people I got into a Streetfight with Vidal Sassoon. And lost.
*FINISH HIM*

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holly here.
hi mike’s online friends – and real friends too. I have one question for you: Why does he call women shorty? My theory: Mike’s previous frustration with the Women in Science poster has him upset about the general success of women in society. Therefore, he feels the need to call women “shorty.” I have invaded the blog from the inside, therefore I am no shorty. Keep on rockin’ in the free world.

Just got this account statement.

I once made the boast (read “threat”) that I could eat twenty tacos from Del Taco in one sitting. I still think I could do it, but it’d take some prep work.

I just got polished off nine and am pretty full. But how could I possibly resist three tacos for ninety-nine cents (plus tax)? $3.22 for a veritable feast… of cheap tacos… and hot sauce. Well, maybe not a feast, then, but good nonetheless.

What is the marketing strategy behind such a promotion? I mean, this happens once a week, and it’s the only time I go to Del Taco. I suppose by making it an “event”, they get people thinking about it. And even at thirty-three cents a taco, they probably still manage to skim off a profit. Plus, people will probably buy drinks (with which restaurants fleece their customers) and other menu items.

Hm. Now that I think about it, it’s pretty clever. And of course, they got me talking about it.

Damn you, Del Taco, and your cheap tacos.