10.23.2021

12.02.2005

For Each Day {Pull(++Ups);}

Filed under: a group of folks,neat!,slice @ 00:04

Greg, circus-certified strong man that he is, recently installed a pull up bar in our apartment. I tried it out and managed seven pull ups before stopping. The next day I did eight. Two points make a line, so I decided to extrapolate the data at hand and make the following prediction.

The number of ups I am capable of contiguously pulling will increase by one up per day I use the pull up bar.

My prediction has proven to be accurate so far, and I’m currently at 10 pull ups. Assuming I use the bar most days, by this time next year, I’ll be doing something like 300 pull ups! A Popeye amongst Olive Oils! Fear my bulging biceps or… triceps… pectins… lemurs… whatever the hell is on my beefy ass arms! Fear those things!

Greg, upon hearing of my awesome plan, told me of a similar workout method:

  1. Adopt a baby pig.
  2. Lift it above your head every day.
  3. Impress the hunnies with your freakishly strong “bod”.
  4. Eat much bacon.

Brilliant. That must be how he became a circus-certified strong man. Having not the porcine access he did in his youth, I’ll stick to the pull up bar and see how it goes.

2 Comments

  1.  
    gv 12.02.2005 @ 00:10

    It’s the Moore’s Law of Mike’s biceps. Eventually, miniaturization won’t allow you to fit more power into your arms which are hopelessly locked at the size “scrawny”. Though perhaps quantum mechanics could be harnessed to give you an exponential advantage over those of us with “classical” muscles.

  2.  
    Adam 12.02.2005 @ 01:18

    I hate to say it, but none of us (MDA, GV, or me) have “classical” muscles. We’re pretty far away from the Greek ideal.

    … Oh, you meant “classical” in the Newtonian sense? Yeah, the two of you might have Newtonian muscles. My guess is that Newton was pretty scrawny. But then so were many of the quantum-type people. So I guess there’s not much hope for either of you.

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