Apple has sold its soul to the devil

Filed under: news,thoughts @ 12:18

Many have already heard Apple’s official announcement at WWDC 2005 that the company will be transitioning to Intel brand processors.

This announcement brings up some interesting questions. Will I be able to buy a cheap PC desktop and install OS X? Will some kind of Windows emulator be available (making the transition from Windows to OS X extremely easy for anyone)? Is my current hardware fated to a doom of ill support and obsolescence?

And, of course, is Steve Jobs in league with the denizens of hell?

Apparently, the first Intel Inside Mac will ship by June 6th, 2006. 666: indeed, the veritable number of the beast.

The answer, I believe, must be “yes”. How else could they gain such a legion of fanatics (in which I suppose I must count myself) if not by the means of the occult. I suppose I should not exclude the possibility that Mr. Jobs is himself the devil, but I’d have thought Satan would be better at predicting the future. Though, to be fair, all of Mr. Jobs’ false promises over the years may have been entirely intentional. It all may have been part of Satan’s tricky scheming.

At any rate, beware Apple. Their good design sense is just part of their twisted mask of deception. Do not be tempted by their sexy aluminum laptops, their vast expanses of widescreen flat panels, or their clean user interface. Every time you use a Mac, you’re communing with the lord of darkness.

I hear he’s pretty fun guy, though, so it’s not all bad.


    Izzy 06.06.2005 @ 12:42

    Great catch! I hadn’t noticed the 06/06/06 until you mentioned it.

    There is something dark and sinister about this news though…it just FEELS wrong.

    Adam 06.06.2005 @ 13:21

    Apple needs to resolve the question of continuing support pretty damn quick if they’re planning to make the switch to Intel starting in a year. As long as there is doubt about whether a current Mac system will be supported a year from now, I will not even consider purchasing a Mac (I have somewhat been lusting after the Mac Mini). And I would imagine that the issue is even more important to companies, research groups, and universities. If the switchover to Intel is going to be absolute, dropping support for the current line of stuff, I have a feeling that Apple’s sales in the computer department will take a huge blow.

    On the other hand, I’d love to have a triple-boot WindowsXPPro/FedoraLinux/MacOSX system.

    Adam 06.06.2005 @ 13:51

    Anandtech, which has been my source of PC hardware reviews and information for years, just posted this article about the Apple+Intel changeover. It mentions a few important points:

    1) Apple plans to continue to support the current architecture for several years at least.

    2) The change is intended to allow for cheaper computers (one of the main barriers to switching to Macs, hence the Mac Mini).

    3) One of the main reasons for the changeover is the performance/watt of Intel processors versus PowerPC processors. But here’s a question: Why not go with AMD processors, since they have even better performance/watt than Intel processors. AMD processors also give better performance/price than Intel. There is no mention in the article as to whether the new MacOSX->Intel port will run on AMD processors.

    xaosseed 06.06.2005 @ 14:13

    My god what is it with all of you damn techniki’s and your cult of the Apple? Cheap, plug and play boxes are all we the people want; unless you’re a serious techie in which case you’re in the minority. Most of the rest of us just want durable boxes that don’t fall over, that fail soft when they do and that think for themselves. I like XP because I just plug stuff in and it goes “oh, i have the interweb now.”

    If Mac going to Intel means less problems making everything talk to each other, then I Declare Victory, and go home.

    Tomas De Aquino 06.06.2005 @ 14:22

    intriguing topic LOL

    MDA 06.06.2005 @ 14:39

    Izzy, Tomas, ;)

    Adam, Another big motivator was surely the supply issue as well. Apple’s had problems in the past with IBM (and Motorola too?) not being able to meet the demand. I’m ignorant on the issue, but I’d guess Intel has the supply advantage over AMD (though I prefer AMD as well). This may be one reason Intel was selected.

    xaosseed, Mac moving to Intel probably won’t help crosstalk that much. Though, actually, I suppose the move will increase the developer base for Apple, so maybe the switch will help. By the way, Macs are great at talking to Windows boxes; it is the other way around that is trickier (and understandably so – Macs are in the minority).

    Funny you should say that about XP. My greatest joy about using a Mac is that everything just works. The techie factor comes from the fact that OS X is UNIX based, but non-techs don’t need to know or care about that. I truly believe that if you want a box to just plugin to the wall and start functioning, your best bet is with Apple. Price is a different issue, though. Hopefully, the switch to Intel will make Macs more affordable across the board. As for durability, I’d guess (without data) that Macs are more durable than PCs on average.

    But, seriously people. This isn’t about the relationship between Apple, Intel, AMD, and Microsoft. This is about Satan.

    Dixie 06.06.2005 @ 14:39

    On my way out of my last appointment with The Devil a few years back, I saw Steve jobs in the waiting room. He had a smooth little white box with him; it looked sort of like the Stormtroopers’ answer to a tricorder or communicator. He also had an even smaller piece of white plastic that was about the size and shape of a pack of gum.

    I’d have stopped and asked what the little white things were, but you tend not to converse with other clients in that setting. It’s really wiser just to keep your eyes lowered and move along. In retrospect, I probably should have bought Apple stock the moment I recognised him in there. Ah well, hindsight is always 20/20, etc.

    I figure Satan owed the Intel guys a favour, and this is just Satan settling the books with both Steve and Intel at the same time.

    HH 06.06.2005 @ 20:39

    I think it’s a smart move. For some reason (and of course I have absolutely nothing to back this up) it seems like Apple should be moving towards the Windows hardware/architecture/whatever. If Apple can compete with Windows purely on the basis of security and user interface (and not the issue of cost, available programs, compatible networking, compatible file formats, games, etc) they undoubtedly have the better offering. Imagine two computers which cost the same (that’s a big one) and work perfectly together and run all of the same programs (I know that’s not true, but let’s pretend), except one is more secure, looks better, and has a better user interface. Of course if they force you to buy their hardware and mark it up a ton (which I don’t doubt they will) they’ll just shoot themselves in the foot.

    You may have read a couple days that the CEO of Intel said that if you want a secure computer your only option is to buy a Mac. Makes a lot more sense now.

    HH 06.06.2005 @ 20:41

    I apologize for the failure to incorporate the devil into my comment. I think we all know that Steve Jobs isn’t the devil, as the real satan is currently enjoying his stay at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.


    […] sors now?! You can read Mike’s numerological analysis of this abrupt amalgamation of Apple and Intel, but I’m guessing it won’t be a big deal to consumers. Developers for A […]

    Adam 06.07.2005 @ 00:10

    Wow, you just hit the nail on the head, I think. Assuming that this new OSX/x86 version can run on the exact same hardware that WindowsXP can run on, I think we may see Microsoft’s and Apple’s market share flip-flop. With this new change, hardware is basically (and theoretically) now a non-issue.

    Cost/Comparison: (Prices from CompUSA)
    Computer: same hardware = same price

    WinXP Home: $199
    OSX 10.4: $129

    Office03 (PC) Standard: $399
    Office04 (Mac) Standard: $399

    Adobe Acrobat 7.0 Standard (PC): $299
    Adobe Acrobat 7.0 Standard (MAC): $299

    WinXP Security: Not good
    OSX Security: Very good

    WinXP “Just Works”: Sometimes
    OSX “Just Works”: Usually

    WinXP Unix Based: NO
    OSX Unix Based: YES

    WinXP Software Availability: Countless Titles
    OSX Software Availability: Much less than XP

    So, price-wise, things should be the same. OSX wins in security and “just-workability”, but loses in software availability. However, with OSX and XP on the same hardware, it should be much easier to port XP-based programs to OSX, and I would expect that over time, more and more software would be written to be OS-independent.

    I really never expected to say this, but I may be switching to (or at least seriously looking at) MacOSX this time next year.

    Adam 06.07.2005 @ 00:33

    I’d like to point out that the post about Apple+Intel on Slashdot currently has about 2500 comments. I’m not sure if it’s a record, but it’s the most comments I’ve ever seen on a single topic on Slashdot.

    Adam 06.07.2005 @ 00:40

    Okay, one more tidbit and then I’ll shut up and let other people say something.

    My favorite comment from the Slashdot post: “Yeah, nice, but did he (Jobs) say anything about a two-button mouse?”


    I would have put the parties in the opposite roles. For me, Apple have always seemed far more infernal than Intel. Apple have ludicrious policies on suing people for giving them free assistance, they have ultra-fascist design policies and exert entirely undue pressure on their developers.

    The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing people that a slick corporate image made him nice, friendly and slightly hippy.

    xaosseed 06.07.2005 @ 10:49

    Hear, hear Uber. The computer labs in trinity were split – Macs in Arches, PC’s in much of the rest of the Science block, Unix boxes in the Comp Phys labs.

    The Macs were just freakin’ awful. That ‘Crash Different’ clip says it all. It stops. It just stops. Why? Who knows?! You try to turn it off but nothings happening you unplug it and go to the next one. The network tells you sod off, you’re already logged on. Aie! And zip disks! Oh god the zip disks – the only things we could port our projects about on, they actually worked nicely, except when they didn’t and stuck. And then the Mac crashed. Leaving you trying to find a pin or something to hard-eject your disc with todays work on it and hoping the goddamn machine hadn’t wiped everything.

    My XP running laptop has given me trouble, this is true, but my two XP running Dimensions (Omenschilde and Val) are rocks.

    People say Macs are more reliable than PC’s. People Tell LIES! I never had so much trouble as with those bloody machines. And they’re more expensive. I could deal with everything else if they were of equivalent price, but they’re not.

    I have no problem with Apple – my iPod does everything I want it to, but I have no time for this ‘Mac premium’.

    Paul.za 06.07.2005 @ 20:48

    So, xaosseed, I imagine you’re talking about Macs pre-OSX. I run Windows XP on my laptop and Fedora elsewhere, but I have to say that my limited experience of OSX really leaves no doubt in my mind that it’s currently the best desktop/laptop operating system in existence at the moment. Period. It really does just work. Of course, that assumes that that’s your main criterion, but for almost everyone it is.

    As regards comments about the move making software development easier for Macs, I’m less convinced. Almost exactly nothing in application development depends on the precise processor. A very small amount depends on other hardware, but that’s almost always hidden in drivers. Writing modern applications involves using kernel and windowing system interfaces for whatever language you’re using. Then the compiler handles the issues of the actual machine code. If OS X is ported to the new hardware, I would put on money on most applications requiring nothing more than a recompile to work on the new system. That’s how Linux runs on everything: Intel, AMD, Sparc, Solaris, AIX, …. It just requires a compiler built for the specific hardware.

    suavisimo 06.08.2005 @ 01:27

    I always thought it was “every time you use a mac, a kitten dies.”

    Scarymonster9 06.09.2005 @ 15:48
    Scarymonster9 06.09.2005 @ 15:52
    zenoen 08.16.2005 @ 19:51

    u are missing the big picture between this

    Apple stands for –
    (p)eace of mind
    (L)ong lasting

    they always try there best to serve the people not the corprate democrat in power
    they stand for the little man making a big change

    i have done so much reaserch it is not even funny
    from the time windows tookover the cuntry
    till the time apple changes the limit of a supercomputer
    theye were looking for the bedt future prosser the long but most effficient way to winning they took the pentium processor becouse of its thinness and its speed the apple system is fast not becouse of its hard ware tho it plays some of the mostimportiant parts but it is fast becouse it has a power system that kicks ass

    but u must rember it has 2.5 thousand lines of code and no worthless code but windows opperating system is 100000 lines of code avrige it has dos on the bottom all they did is combined all there systems togeher system 3.1 is still in there any user of internet explorer is not only going to add to the problems it will double the problems

    the problem with intell was it was working with windows not that it made processors it could not work with mac becouse of macs dessisiond not to allow open selling and bilding of the computer
    it had no choise now apple is alowing it a choice to leave the dark side and help out in the jedi order

    thats my facts and i suggest u dont forget it

    zenoen 08.16.2005 @ 19:56

    o ya i forgot to mention in thegraphics department and sound and editing of movies mac owns a good 72% of the market well serious market anyway they used mac in lordoftherings/and several movies very few even use windows equipment for movie and graphics design becouse it has so many shortcomings and is alot more diffcult then a mac

    zenoen 08.16.2005 @ 19:57

    check out the history and other interisting stuff about the macs here

    me 11.03.2005 @ 17:30

    the first mac actually cost $666

    you 12.29.2005 @ 09:19

    You fucking moron. The first Mac was in 1984. You’re thinking of the Apple I computer.
    You’re probably one of those people who thinks you edit photos in “Adobe” and do all your word processing in “Microsoft.” I bet you think your operating system is called “AOL.”


    […] …every time you use a Mac […]

    Flarn2006 03.22.2007 @ 13:22

    Don’t forget the price of the Apple I: $666.66

    Drew 10.03.2007 @ 09:29

    Bootcamp Beta 1.4 will expire when Leopard is released. How exactly are they going to do that without a stealth update?
    I’m turning off auto-updates. But if I find out that Apple’s keyboard driver (under Windows) gets a notification over the web and disables BootCamp I’m going to be very tempted to reformat my drive with Vista.

    What kind of company disables product they’ve released just as a marketing gimic? Oh, yeah all that spyware that comes loaded on cheap PCs…

    Need I mention the iPhone lock down?

    Apple is the devil.

    my ass 12.30.2010 @ 15:47

    hey peeps i heard dat apple works for satan coz its a bitten apple and adam bit into the apple wen he wernt suposed to and satan made him..so yh..lol just sayin init

    Tom 06.20.2011 @ 23:21

    Have you considered for just one moment that this could be coincidence? If you haven’t, have you considered that the $666.66 price for the first apple and your new “666” release date may be designed to dissuade religious idiots from buying a very nice computer? I am so glad that Steve Jobs is a Buddhist. As such, he does not need to worry about fanaticism, absolutism, idiocy, or any of your other self-hating, hate-perpetuating, common-man hanging, widow-burning, enlightened-man censoring, witch hunt. When you die and the switch turns “OFF” you’ll************ oops!

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