Tatie and Ked!
Any weekend involving Bert driving the wrong way through a drive through (“hello…”) is a good one as far as I’m concerned, but this one had the added bonus of seeing Katie and Ted get hitched. Their wedding afforded me the opportunity to make an ass of myself at the reception, meet the fun group of people that are Ted and Katie’s friends, watch all the bridesmaids giggle and coo over Bert’s “Bye Bye Bye – ‘N Sync” dance routine, and see Jeff get rejected by an eight year old (let’s face it Jeff, she was a much better dancer than you are).
But enough interesting specifics. On to the clichés.
The wedding itself was lovely, and the aforementioned shenanigan inducing reception was a load of fun. And regardless of whether it sounds trite, the Bride looked beautiful, and the Groom… well… I guess he looked a little less bald. The only thing I would have changed about the whole proceedings would be to have ordered better weather (sorry Michelle). It was way too humid.
The event was also a nice venue for self reflection. While weddings have the potential of being depressing for all the single guests, Katie and Ted’s managed to instill in me a small bit of hope. Ted sure as sure married up; perhaps there’s a chance yet. I took notes, and he said he’d be willing to provide some tutelage. I’ll likely take him up on the offer: “Ted’s proven guide on how to trick women”.
Cheers to the happy couple. May your days be forever brightened by the companionship and love you share, but still filled with the sunglasses needed to block the harmful rays reflecting from Ted’s denudate scalp. Many blessings to you both.
You’re right; I can’t argue with the fact that the little girl is a much better dancer than I am. But, I’m like three times the size of any dude she’s hanging out with at school. If there’s any age where if one dude can beat up your current boyfriend then he’s your new boyfriend, it’s right around that girl’s age.
And yes, if you’re keeping score, I was just talking smack to some nine year old boy I’ve never met.
I think you’re helping Mike out a little bit more than yourself Jeff.
Dickie’s mom just called again, jjk. She said you’ve been taking his lunch money and teasing him in front of Kelly again.
Mike, the secret to marrying up is simple: persistence! Just be the nice guy who won’t go away. Girls don’t want to feel bad by outright rejecting you, so you stick around. After a while, they start to get used to you and pretty soon, they couldn’t imagine you not being there. Bingo, you’re in! “Mike Adams” (sung to the “by Mennen” jingle ala Castanva)
Priceless! Mike, that ought to be your signature as you leave for the evening. Something like “Say goodnight to…Mike Adams”, where the Mike Adams is presented as Ted explains.
Griz, that worked for my dad and for at least one friend of mine from college. If I remember correctly, my dad lived next to my mom and kept asking her to go on a date for something between weeks and months. Finally she gave in to this backwater hick from Tennessee, just to get him to shut up. My friend from college used pretty much the same approach with his friend’s little sister.
Looks like I need to give it a try.
Yep, that’s exactly what I did. My first success was corning Katie by agreeing to go to breakfast with her. I then managed a dinner and a movie. But after that she became more elusive. A few months later I think we went to breakfast again. Then I left and kept sending her postcards and emailing. Then I went and visited in Maryland. Then she finally gave in! Persistence!