blogwaffe

Checking my campus mailbox this morning, I was delightfully surprised by an interesting missive: The January, 1987 edition of The UFO Report. I can only assume some local… is nutjob too strong a word? went through Bridge and put copies in random boxes.

Pretty awesome, though.

The first… article tells the tale of a man and his motorcycle – both driven to seek out extraterrestrials where any reasonable human would most expect to find them: in the woods ripping down the occassional tree and yelling a lot. After passing up the possibility to closely inspect one, nay, two clearly alien spacecraft, he heads to the nearest town for a drink and a chance to interview the locals who had taken advantage of a similar opportunity. Unfortunately, those locals had a dying aunt, or some such, and it wasn’t a good time to discuss the issue. Given, though, the nature of the periodical, you can safely assume he eventually found some aliens (…or did he???). It is particularly remarkable that, in the account, there are literally dozens of witnesses who, one supposes, could verify the presence of our hero near the sighting, yet at the time when he claims to have seen the beast(s?), the author was alone. Naturally, no details about the author are given.

A very entertaining read. Almost as good as the accompanying illustrations.

The second portion of the Report was called “The Technical Corner”. This month’s issue (recall, it’s January ’87) features a discussion on the author’s (unnamed – surprised?) recent invention of the “Work Function Power Cell (WFPC)”. Due to various phenomenon [sic] which, when combined, appear to violet [sic] the first two laws of thermodynamics, but in actuality do not and instead have the abiliy [sic] to produce an arbitrarily large amount of free energy. It takes advantage of the background quantum electromagnetic sea comprised of an exceedingly dense superimposition [sic] of near zero energy virtual photons (the intermeterary [sic] agents of the electric field). All that is needed is a well calumniated [sic] beam of light. See figure 1 (a picture of an alien ripping down trees in the woods).

The author admits that this is not the most practical source of free energy, but merely a proof of concept meant to break down the psychological barrier present in academia and society at large regarding energy resources. After this humble bit of modesty, though, the author is good enough to provide the reader with the following tidbit: that there are four known (to the author) means of producing free energy. The first being that mentioned above, the second involving plasma and car batteries, the third being unnamed and left undescribed, and the fourth being an “MHD” type process used by star ships to recharge their power cells.

So fear not, even though this solution isn’t practical, there are others which are. The author, however, has chosen not to waste the readers’ time by explaining any of them. The truth is out there.